branded and barcoded

12:41am

: the balancing beam of sanity
One day I'll look back at all of this and laugh. Hard.

6:30pm

: and now that long awaited update about the happenings at my work
...I quit my job today! TIGHT

college in 4 days! TIGHTER

Paycheck tomorrow! TIGHTEST

End.

7:53pm

: More t shirts
I submited another t shirt design and its up and running in the contest check it out

http://www.threadless.com/submission/46187/she_loves_me



what are you waiting for!? sign up and vote already!

in other news I'll be udating soon about my job just for kicks

later

2:13pm

: get cha T shirts here
Just submited a t-shirt design to threadless.com

http://www.threadless.com/submission/45081/scared

incase you haven't heard of the site you make t shirt design and if they're accepted they're voted on for 7 days. There could be some cash-o-la involved if I win so yeah vote for it.

as for what else is going on:

work is dangerous
life is boring

peace

4:38pm

: whoosh!
I like being philosophical and this flows with a current thing. Answer the question if you want I'm just writing to get my mind cleared

Have you ever wondered am I helping or hindering someone by doing or not doing something? Along time ago I was walking down hawthorne when a bum asked me if I had any change. Just coming out of the Avalon I had loads of change. So I gave the man 5 dollars in nickels and he, being more then usually delisonal, thanked me with a smile and a rambling run on sentence. The person at the time I was walking with said you know your probably hurting him more by fueling his drung addictions. It did seem pretty obvious by the man's appearance that he was going to spend the money on beer or whatever cheap thrill he could find. That got me thinking though am I really helping this guy or is my friend right am I making his life worse by giving him money to buy crack etc.

This thought always sends my head spiraling somthing to the effects of this:

"Of course its helping! Giving money to the homeless rocks!"
"but if they're just going to use it to toke up why bother? That doesn't help them at all"
"but its there choice! they can do what they want with there life"
"but drugs are so destructive it would be like giving them money to kill themselves"
"what? drugs are just an escape! they're poor what else do they have at least let them die enjoying themselves"
"but you could send them to a home or rehabilitation instead"
"I don't see you paying for it"
"hey guys sorry to squeze into this convo but what if he wasn't gonna buy marjiuana and booze then the money would be helping right?"
"I guess? but they'll just become dependent on hand outs they'll just come back for more"
"whatever douche!"
*unaudiable arguing*

This entry fits well with the current increase of homeless and Oregon turning into one the highest panhandling cities because of generous Oregonians. but the issue I'm really lookin at is what do you do when it comes to the people you love??? I would have obviously said helping them whenever they need it but today I'm not really sure. I got asked a pretty big favor today which as always I'm willing to do but I don't like how everything could shape out. I haven't said yes or no to this favor but I'll figure it out by tonight. That help/hinder do/don't things going on again.

1:10am

: explanation and a bruise

The reasons I never post:

• I hate the internet
• my layout sucks and I'm too lazy to update it
• usually if I'm writing in here I'm complaining about something (which I'm doin tonight)
• drama is for turds
• deep down I'm an angry person and I hate that (...haha)
• I have no time

 

Tonight I'll throw all that crap aside for one fleeting moment because something needs to be said about me for the sake of me.

Out of all the things I value the most my word is my highest priority. Usually if I promise you something 95% of the time I'm going to fulfill that promise. This is bad when you mix in the fact that I say yes to almost every task someone throws at me regardless of how hard it would be to keep that promise. Recently working in glorious web design and graphics for the student run business, Tech Cadre, has left me overworked and under slept and the only one who's created that problem is me. Outside of school (WHICH ISN'T ENDING!!!!) and tech cadre I have 6 other projects all conveniently sealed with my promise. If you combine all three (school, cadre, and "free time") I have 19 or more projects to complete within a month when all I want to do is sleep and graduate. This excludes necessities and/or other important things like registering for college. Right now I've reached a breaking point. I know something along the line isn't going to get done I'm going to break a promise and let someone down. What did I learn? I'm an idiot who thinks time doesn't exist and its time to say no.

12:22am

: woops
look at that I accidently pushed the update button... and to think I almost updated... crazy isn't?

7:24pm

: the little things SUCK
So my wallet was stolen today I didn't want it to bother me but its really fucking pissing me off right now. I don't give a shit even if there was 23409823057123098123 dollars in it (which it was more like 2) I just want the wallet. FUck its really bugging me.

1:10am

: and all the kings horses and all the kingsmen...
yesterday(today) is another very good day that I shall not forget for some time

9:24pm

: I will remember this day for a long long while